I am constantly amazed at my “to-do” list.  Just as I scratch off two items, 10 more appear. But procrastination is not as much about what you have left to do as how much you have left undone.  It seems that just as I see the end of a project in sight, some road block jumps up and steers me away from my goal.  So lately, instead of focusing on my “to-do” list, I’ve been looking at my “almost done” list.  Here’s the way my almost done list is looking these days:

1. My daughter’s bedroom is almost redecorated.

2. My office is almost organized. 

3. My website is almost the way I want it.

4. Even this devotional is almost done- but not quite.

Sometimes the frustration of not completing a project can really get to me.  I really hate having things incomplete.

 But then I found this verse, Philippians 1:6, which changed my attitude about my list of incomplete projects.   In this verse, the apostle Paul says “that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”  Did you hear that? Jesus began a good work in you but he’s not done with you yet!  It’s like you and I are on Jesus’ project list.  I don’t know about you, but I feel like a pretty big project.  Jesus is working to clean up all of the incompleteness in my life from my procrastination to my fretfulness to even that ugly old bitterness I can’t seem to shake.  But as huge of a project each of us may seem, let me assure you- Christ is an excellent project manager; He has everything under control. 

 If you’re like me, you might be wondering how does Jesus complete people?  It seems to me that Jesus can use anything from prayer and Bible study, to getting your oil change or going for a walk.  Of course Jesus also uses times of hardship when you can almost feel God’s hands shaping and molding you.  If you think about it, you can probably look back over the last week, month or year and see the work of Christ in your life completing you.

 So if Jesus is busy completing us, what are we suppose to do?  Completion is less about what we do and more about who we focus on.  You need to not focus on the things you have to complete but focus instead on what God is trying to complete in you.  Did you catch that? Rather than focusing on what task, chore or ministry you have to complete, focus on what Christ has to complete within you.

 It’s OK if you have a list of things that are “almost done”.  You see God is bigger than our procrastination because the day will come when we will look upon Christ’s face and all that’s needed to be done will be done.  Not because of anything we have done but because of everything Christ has done.

There are so many things about the Christmas season that I look forward to with great expectation: the music, the food, the gift giving, the lights, the decorations.  You name it, I love it!  But there is one seasonal tradition I dread with great trepidation: my husband’s office party.

 Now let me make this clear, it’s not the place or the people. Over the 25 years of our marriage, my husband has worked at many companies, for many bosses and with many people.  The problem is that my husband’s office Christmas party presents great potential for me to say something incredibly stupid in front of my husband’s boss.  You see I have been inflicted with the foot-in-mouth disease numerous times over the years.  I just wish someone else could be in charge of my mouth!  Do you know what I mean?

 In the Christmas story there is a woman that received some help with her mouth.  Her name was Elizabeth and she was Mary’s cousin.  One day, when Mary was already pregnant with the Christ Child, she went to visit her cousin Elizabeth.  When Mary said “Hi’ to her cousin,  Elizabeth began to speak with a loud and great voice.  Only Elizabeth didn’t get into trouble for her loud mouth, just the opposite. She used her great voice to proclaim the arrival of Jesus. She said to Mary “Blessed are you among women and blessed is the Child you carry.”  Isn’t that great!?  How come at such a monumental moment, Elizabeth didn’t have the foot-in-mouth disease?  How did she have a moment of great truth instead of a moment of great embarrassment?  Simple.  Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.  Elizabeth knew the truth that Mary was carrying the Messiah because the Holy Spirit told her. 

 Now here is the best part of this story: The Holy Spirit is speaking truths to believers everyday.  Do you know when you say “That was such a God thing.” Or “I couldn’t have done that without God.” Or even just telling God “Thanks,”- that’s the Holy Spirit speaking through you.  And in case you are thinking-“not me.  The Holy Spirit lives in those other Christians, but not me.”- think again. Scripture says the Holy Spirit lives in all believers.

 So this Christmas think about the true Spirit of Christmas living inside of you just aching for you to share the love and joy of the Christ Child with those around you.  The Holy Spirit is trying to speak through you all the time, not just in your Bible study group or at Church but in the grocery store line or having lunch with a friend or even at my husband’s Office Party.  Yes it’s true.  So I am taking the Holy Spirit with me to the Office Party and through the power of the Holy Spirit, I know God is BIGGER than my husband’s office party.

I suppose you’ve noticed that mall parking lots transform this time of year from easily accessible valleys of parking opportunities to hot beds of competition and anxiety.  Typically mild mannered drivers become death defying Kamikaze pilots with only one mission: find a parking space.  Preferably legal parking but that’s not mandatory. My personal survival strategy is to drive to the biggest, busiest entrance to the mall and then wait.  I wait for some unsuspecting shopper to walk out to their car as I casually drive my car after them, trying to get first dibs on their spot.  But do you know what happens?  They hang a tight left and walk across two row of cars leaving me in the dust or even worse, I follow them all the way to their car only to find them dropping off their packages in their trunk and return to the mall.  They leave me as they found me: waiting for a parking space.

 I hate waiting.  To me waiting is like someone punching my hold button, leaving me in the land of limbo.  After all, I did not go to the mall to sit in the parking lot.  I went to go inside the mall.  Fortunately, in the Christmas story there was one expert on waiting.  His name was Simeon.  The Holy Spirit revealed to him that he would see the Messiah one day before he died.  But needless to say, the Holy Spirit does not appear to have told Simeon any specifics.  Simeon didn’t know when or where or how the Messiah was going to show up.  He just knew He would.  From reading scripture, we know that Simeon met the baby Jesus when Mary and Joseph presented Him in the temple.  But we have no clue how old Simeon was when the Holy Spirit revealed to him that one day he would see the Lord’s Christ.  What if he was a 16 or 23 years old when the Holy Spirit first came to Simeon?  What if he lived years, decades, looking, listening, waiting?  Do you think he became discouraged?  Did people make fun of him and tell him his hope was unfounded, illogical and senseless? Difficulties surely happened in Simeon’s life just like ours: sickness, money problems even death of a love one.  But Simeon was told to wait for the Messiah everyday, not just the easy days. 

 How did he do it?  The truth is Simeon was doing more than waiting on the Messiah, he was expecting the Messiah. Doesn’t that change everything? Think about the times in your life when you have waited for something wonderful: a baby, a graduation, a new home or even a visit from an old friend.  That sweet sense of expectation can add streams of hope to even the toughest days. 

 The Christmas season is a time we are to be living in expectation of the coming of the Christ Child. Are you expecting the Christ Child this Christmas even amidst the cookie baking and list making?  Don’t spend this holiday season waiting for Jesus like you would wait for a parking space.  Let the sweet expectation of the coming of the Lord sift through your busyness, your loneliness and your joyfulness this Christmas…and beyond.

For me potlucks are complicated.  I never know what to make.  I guess this is why being invited to dinner is so much nicer than being invited to a potluck.  And yet, the dinner invitation is barely out of my friend’s mouth before I yelp “What can I bring?”  Some friends let me bring a salad or a desert but then there’s the friends that say “don’t bring a thing.”  Part of me is thrilled to be treated with such hospitality while another part of me is immediately feeling guilty that I’m going to show up without a dish.

 Why is it so difficult for some of us to be treated special when we’ve nothing to contribute but ourselves?  Why do we feel unworthy of this gift?

 This is a lot like receiving the gift of the Christ child.  God gave you His Son completely free of charge just because He loves you.  Although with all our imperfections we don’t deserve it,  Jesus paid the price on the cross so one day we will party with Him in the throne room of God.  Can you imagine!  Yet you did nothing to deserve this and Jesus did everything. 

 It’s like going to heaven and seeing this incredible banquet!!!  There’s this huge table covered in linen that shines whiter than light and hundreds of candelabra’s glistening brighter than the sun and the room is filled with this incredible music that makes you want to shout for joy and the food, don’t get me going on the FOOD!   And you’re standing there, in this immaculate banquet hall, completely dazzled but guess what?  You heard the invitation wrong.  Instead of a heavenly banquet, you thought the invitation said the dinner was a potluck.  So you show up, in heaven, with a casserole dish. 

 Jesus is standing there before this spectacular feast that He’s prepared for you and He says, “You didn’t have to bring anything.”  But do you know what you’ve been doing?  You’ve been spending your whole life trying to find just the right casserole dish because you didn’t want to show up empty handed.  You look back at your life and realize, “I never should have spent so much energy trying to repay Jesus for the gift He’s given me.  All He wanted was for me to soak up all the love He has for me.” 

 Imagine two Christians.  Both serve Jesus but the first Christian focuses only on their unworthiness of the gift of Jesus and the second Christian focuses on what a treasure they are to Jesus.  For us their lives look the same.  But which one is experiencing the fullness of the abundant life Jesus has bought for them?  We can spend our lives overwhelmed by our unworthiness or we can spend our lives amazed that we are such a treasure to our Lord.

 This Christmas focus not only on the gift of Jesus but on what a treasure you are to have received it.  God gave you the gift of His Son because He loves you and He thinks you are worth it…that you are totally worth it.

A Christmas message.

You may be wondering what foot odor has to do with Christmas.  Well, a few Christmas’ ago I got to thinking about the gift of the Christ Child and I realized there’s more to this gift than first meets the eye.  So I wrote this little story called The Story Before the Christmas Story.

One day… before the wise men packed their bags, before the angels sang on high … God had to make a decision.  (Actually, God doesn’t make decisions, He just knows.  But for the sake of the story, we’re going to pretend He had a decision to make.)  It was a perfect day in heaven.  You see, they are all perfect days in heaven: there’s no bad hair days, or poor air quality days or even heavy traffic days.  Everything in heaven is perfect because God is perfect.  But on this perfect day, God had to make a decision: Do I go down to earth as a human or do I take a pass and stay here in heaven where it will be perfect again tomorrow?  So God decided to do a classic pros vs. cons examination of the situation.  Here is what the cons to go down to earth looked like.

Reasons to not go to earth as a human

1. I’d have to be a baby.  That means diapers and diaper rash, teething and colic, wearing drool or spit up with all my outfits, and being too hot or too cool; too wet or too dry; too hungry or too full and not being able to do anything about it!

2. Then I’d have to be a toddler.  That means all that falling down when I want to walk and screaming when I want to talk.  Being told “No” 3x’s more than I’m told, “Yes”.  Placing everything I find within hand’s reach in my mouth whether it’s edible or not. 

3. Eventually, I would become a little boy.  That means taking 2 steps for every one step of my dad’s when I’m trying to keep up.  My body would be a constant collection of bumps, bruises, scrapes, and dirt smudges.  And having to be with my mom when I want to be with other kids and having to be with other kids when I want to be with my mom. 

4. Suddenly, I would have to be a big boy.  That means finding bodily function sounds the funniest things on earth.  Having to wear matching outfits with my little brothers and sisters.  And what about that foot odor thing?

5. Inevitably, I would have to go through puberty.  That means growing so much in one night my bones ache.  Having people mistake my voice for my mom’s voice. And instead of growing a nice beard like my dad’s, I end up with those dumb little curls poking out of my chin. 

6. Finally, I would have to be an adult.  I’d be tempted by the devil, misunderstood by everyone, pursued by masses of people, plotted against by religious leaders, and betrayed by a friend.  Abandoned by all my love ones.  Falsely accused, tried, tortured, mocked, slandered, and crucified. 

That’s quite a con list.  Who would blame God for taking a pass on all of that?  Well, let’s look at the pros.

Reasons to go to earth as a human

1. So I can spend all eternity with my children whom I love.

2. So my children know that a promise is a promise.

 Short list.  But when it comes right down to it, God grieves at being separated from us.  He hungers for the closeness of his children more than any human parent longed for their child.  So God chose the diaper rash and the foot odor, the body aches and the baby drool, and He chose to die on the cross for your sins.

 The story of Christmas begins with God choosing to spend eternity with you rather than without you.  The rest of the Christmas Story is God giving us the only way home to Him…Jesus.

My Mom’s side of the family really knows how to throw a family reunion.  Picture 40-50 people ranging from infants to great-grandparents, a food table with twice as many desserts as entrées, and the obligatory post dinner football game for jocks of all ages.  Typically, The Reunion is held somewhere in North Florida the day after Thanksgiving – providing easy access to the all important Florida vs. Florida State football game on Saturday.  This family reunion is absolutely a not-to-be-missed event …except some years when I miss it.

Somehow the holidays become filled with “not-to-be-missed” events, so many in fact, you would have to be super human to accomplish them all.  There are presents to buy, friends to see, family to visit and events to attend.  But why?  Why do we pack from Thanksgiving to New Years with more activities than any other time of the year?

 Why?  Because God sent His only Son Jesus Christ to earth as a gift so we may be reunited with our heavenly Father once and for all.  But what does buying a bathrobe for my Mom, or attending the “rob your neighbor” gift exchange at work have to do with Jesus?  Well, that’s kind of up to you.  If the holidays are just a stream of irritating responsibilities, then these activities probably have nothing to do with Jesus.  But if the holidays are an opportunity for you to share the undeserved joy that Jesus has brought into your life, then these simple events take on a whole new meaning.

 But it’s not easy to have the true spirit of Christmas.  The danger can come when we start to think things like “I have to go.” “I never miss.”  “I am always there.”  As you are looking at your list of things to do, beware if you hear yourself using the words “Never” and “Always” like in: “I always make the turkey.” or “We never celebrate at their house.”  Something about traditions make these words come up too often. Personally, I think Never and Always are really words that should be reserved for Jesus because He is the only guy that can stand by them.  Always.  After all, that’s the reason for the season.  Jesus came so we will ALWAYS be loved and NEVER be forsaken. 

 So, how do you increase your joy and decrease your stress?  Design your own Christmas.  REALLY!  Christmas is not something that happens to you each year with no involvement from yourself.  Your Christmas is impacted by a series of decisions you make beginning now.  Don’t let Christmas happen to you when you were not paying attention.  Decide what you want your Christmas to look like.  How? First, do those things that actually give you joy.  They’re important.  Next, for those unavoidable obligations that you are not so excited about, pray for God to give you a gracious heart.  God’s gift of His Son is so powerful it can override office parties, visits from your in-laws and even excessive service events at church.   Listen: The Christ Child is lying in the manger waiting for you this Christmas in a whole new way.  Don’t miss Him!

  Karen@ktripp.com

Vickie,

Thank you so much for contacting me.  I can only imagine how hard it is to think about this first Christmas without your father. 

I wish I had some words to make it seem less overwhelming, but I don’t.  Part of the reason Christmas can be such a difficult time for grief is that the loss of a love one leaves a hole in your heart.  Everyday life leaves tons of reminders of the ache inside that has come from the loss but the holidays bring traditions.  And with traditions come the expectation for consistency and normalcy that the absence of your love one denies.  Things are not normal.  They can be blaringly different.  Christmas often brings a renewed sense that your dad’s “suppose” to be there.

Coping with grief is very individual.  Some days you want to be alone and others you want to be with a friend or family.  Maybe there are times you feel like talking about your dad yet other times you’d rather no one mentioned your loss.  Another thing about the holidays is that family members come together and everyone is grieving in there own ways.  One family member may want to do something different this year so the absence of your dad is not as obvious.  Other family members want to keep traditions the same because the consistency gives them comfort.  It’s hard to talk about the fears of the holidays but it’s not a bad idea.  Ask the other family members what they’re dreading about this Christmas and each of you think about what would help you get through the holidays.  Be together? Be alone.  Talk about dad or not?  Do something new or be consistent?

You might think about the expectations both friends and family members may have for you.  The holidays always bring expectations of parties, gift giving, decorating, etc.  You get to choose.  Any of these things that do not add joy and peace to your Christmas season, you get to pass on.  Tell folks you’ll be at an event if you feel up to it.  Buy the presents you feel motivated to buy. Decorate the things that add pleasure to your days.  It’s OK to tell others, “Not this year.” 

Lastly, and I really do believe this, in the midst of all the fears and sadness and confusion of this first Christmas without your dad, you might find Christ in a new and meaningful way.  Never has there been a Christmas that you needed Him more and this Christmas He wants to be closer to you than ever before.  God sent His Son to earth the first Christmas because He knew how much you were going to need the Christ Child this Christmas.  Try and think of the true meaning of Christmas: the gift of a Son so that in your hardest days you can rest in the strength of His loving arms.  Try and seek the wellspring of love that awaits you this Christmas at the manger of our Savior.

I pray that in the midst of the pain of your loss Christ reveals Himself to you in the most glorious ways.  When you need Jesus most, He wants to be with you more.

Blessings,

Karen Tripp MS        Speaker, Author, Counselor

To learn more about Karen’s First Christmas After grief CD go to http://store.godisbiggerthan.com/music.   It is a beautiful collection of 9 carols sung by AriSon and 9 devotions written by Karen, designed to provide the comfort and reassurance many grieving people need their first Christmas without  their loved one.

Let me be the first to say…MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Karen Tripp MS           Speaker, Author, Counselor

You know sometimes bulldozers are pretty handy things to have around.  If you’re plowing paths through thick forests or turning mountains of dirt into flatten vistas then a bulldozer is just what you need.  However, if you have a delicate job that requires patience and careful consideration, a bulldozer is probably not what you need.

I have on occasion been called a bulldozer.  This is hopefully not referring to my physique but rather my tendency to become intensely focused.  You might even say I can become driven.  Like a traditional bulldozer, this can be a good thing- as long as no innocent bystanders are in my way.  Trees get mowed, mountains get flattened but if there is a need to change directions or remember to refuel, bulldozers like me have real problems slowing down.

Bulldozers make me think about the 10 lepers who Jesus met one day.  (Luke 17)  Jesus told them to go into to town and show themselves to the priest.  Along the way they were healed. Imagine years of isolation from everyone and everything you love because of a disease you contracted through no fault of your own.  Finally, after years of praying or wishing or hoping that some one, somewhere would take away this terrible disease, you’re HEALED!   These 10 guys must have completely freaked out! Healed, finally healed!  But do you know what?  Only one turned back on the road and went back to thank Jesus for healing him.  Only one.

I would love to tell you that I would be the one that turned back to thank Jesus and I’d want to be the one that turned back but being a bulldozer, I’m not so sure.  If I had suffered from leprosy for years I would have dreamed a thousand times what I would do if I was ever healed.  First I’d run to the priest and get him to certified that I’m not a leper so no one would freak out and stone me or something.  Then I would head home.  I would not pass go I would not collect 200 dollars.  I would just get home to my love ones the fastest way I knew how.   I’d sob hysterically all over my husband, smother my kids with hugs and then I’d probably start to cook everyone something.  You see I would be so focused on making the most of the blessing that I would forget about where the blessing came from.  My bulldozer would be in overdrive!

Neglecting the source of your blessing by focusing on making the most of it is easier to do than you think.  The new house that you’ve always wanted turns into an unending list of remodeling projects.  The child you’ve prayed for inspires mounting concerns for appropriate nutrition, healthcare, academics, social interactions and outside activities.  The promotion you’ve worked so hard to attain comes only to push you to keep it.  Blessings.  Every pore in our body wants to charge into the long awaited blessing, drinking its fill.  But the weird thing is that the blessing won’t quench your thirst.  Only Jesus can.  The more we turn toward Jesus, shouting praises and bowing down in thanks, the less we need blessings and the less we look for blessings.  But here’s the really cool thing: the more we turn towards Jesus, the more blessings we see.  It’s true! Invisible blessings will start to become visible.  When that happens, thankfulness becomes more than a response to blessings.  It becomes a condition of your heart. 

The trick is turning around instead of charging.  Of course you know how hard it is for bulldozers to turn around.  But it’s not impossible.  Thank God it’s not impossible!

Sign up now by emailing your name and email address to Karen@ktripp.com.  Specify that you’d like a free cancer workbook.  If you are leading a support group, you can ask for one for each participant. 

THANKS! Karen Tripp