This is head boppin’ music.  You know, a fun casual song that makes your head bop as you listen to it.  Dara Maclean’s voice is deep and earthy so that I am enticed to listen closely for the meaning of her songs.  Suitcases really calls us to let go of  our load and to not be afraid.  It’s easy to ignore most of our fears until something comes along to tosh us out of our comfort zone.  That’s what Dara calls running with suitcases.  here’s what the song says:

How can you move when they’re weighing you down
What can you do when you’re tied to the ground, yeah
You carry your burdens, heavy like gravity
Just let them go now, there’s freedom in release

You can’t run when you’re holding suitcases
It’s a new day throw away your mistakes and open up your heart
Lay down your guard, you don’t have to be afraid

Just breathe, your load can be lifted
There’s a better way when you know you’re forgiven
Open up your heart, lay down your guard
You don’t have to be afraid

Relax, lt go of your load and enjoy this great song.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4cFZcSivZI

Join Karen Tripp on Paul Clayton’s morning show Thursday, June 30th from 7:15-9:00AM.  The show can be heard on KFUO.org or AM850 in the St Louis area.  Hear the latest and greatest as Paul and Karen start your morning off right.

To steam live go to http://www.kfuo.org/

“If you lower the ambient noise in your life and listen expectantly for those whispers of God, your ears will hear them.”

Summer crazy?  Missing some good ole’ Bible study time?  St Pauls DesPeres has provided a way for you to enjoy Karen’s summer Bible Study from the comfort of your home.

Just go to the link below and print out Karen’s handout and listen to the audio of the class to enjoy this study of Francine River’s Redeeming love which is based on the book of Hosea.

http://desperes.inspirlink.com/Index.asp?PageID=5373&BibleStudyID=30621&CategoryID=2820

If you would like to attend in person, join Karen at St Pauls Desperes at 9:00 Tuesday mornings.  CLICK HERE for more info.

Great book.  Fun study.  Add a little TLC from the scriptures into your busy summer.

Have you ever fallen in love with a song and then heard the story behind the song and it only makes you love it more?  Redeemer by Sanctus Real really speaks to my need to still dream big dreams with the Lord.  It’s too easy to come up with reasons to look at our prayers, our hopes, our life as small but Jeus gives us the reason to have the “courage to carry on”.

Sometimes I just want to start over, ’cause everything looks like a wreck
And I need the courage to carry on, ’cause I can’t see what’s ahead
And there are places I’ve wished I could be, battles I’ve wanted to win
Dreams that have slipped through my hands
I may never get back again

But I’m still a dreamer, a believer
Oh, I’ve lost my faith in so many things, but I still believe in You
‘Cause You can make anything new

Matt Hammitt, the lead singer, wrote this song in response to the strugles with his own life.  Listen to the video and the song here to understand how important it is to remember that He makes everything new.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8JbSL0WeMc

Much more than a historical romance, Lisa Tawn Bergren creates a complex suspenseful mystery set 1800’s Colorado Territory.  The novel opens with the main character, Odessa St Clair, dying of consumption on a train to Colorado Springs to find the “cure”.  An intricate plot develops with murder, silver mines and a collection of creepy guys that keeps the reader involved.  Having a dashing rancher also battling consumption doesn’t hurt one bit!  Beyond turning to her faith for help with the troubles around her, this heroine turns to God for each precious breath.  I found the character very engrossing.  What if I knew I needed God with every breath?   The characters of Odessa’s brother (a boxer) and sister (an opera singer) are fully developed with key roles in Odessa’s story leaving me eager to read the rest of the trilogy.

Check out this short book video for a closer look:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8CAfRSFtBk

Navigating Through Relationships Part 1:

Taking Care of Yourself While Taking Care of Others

Karen Tripp LMFT

“Nothing has been the same since my husband was diagnosed with MS.”

Theresa, MS CarePartner

Being a caretaker isn’t easy.  Actually, it can be stressful, exhausting, infuriating, depressing and it can even make you sick so someone then needs to take care of you.

Statistics:

• 62% of caregivers said their own health suffered as a result of caring for a loved one.
• 70% said their families were not working well together on a care giving plan.
• 46% said they had inadequate financial resources due to care giving.

(Journal of Family Nursing JFN)

One goal of a caregiver is not to be one of these statistics.

Types of Caregivers

1. 1. Primary Caregiver: involved in interactions with medical staff as well as helping patient with their physical needs ie medical visits, giving prescriptions, food, etc.

Goals of a primary caretaker:

• Multiple goals concerning the physical treatment of your loved one.
• For your relationship with your loved one to grow through the struggles of cancer.
• For you to be healthy and be supported by a secondary caregivers and support group.
• To take care of all the responsibilities you had before the diagnosis.

1. 2. Secondary Caregiver: Everyone else that physically cares for the patient and/or the caregiver.

Goal of a secondary care giver: to take care of the care giver, the home and remove stresses when requested.  The primary caregiver needs to be cared for so they can care for the patient. #1 goal: to decrease isolation.

What can Secondary caregivers do?

This isn’t only about having someone take care of your “needs”.  Multiple Sclerosis teaches us all the things we do not need.  This is a list of things that will ease your mind and reduce your stress.

___ Take a care partner to lunch, movie, fishing, ballgame, etc

___ Take the person with MS to lunch, movie, fishing, ballgame, etc

___ Fix things around the house

___ Fix things in the yard.

___ Ask about how the primary caregiver is doing.

___ Include in holiday and family events.

___ Pick up a prescription, run an errand.

___ Call once a week to check in.

___Take them to a doctor’s appointment.

3. Core Support Group: Who can you answer “How are you doing?” honestly?  This might include some of the people from the above and it might not.  They can live anywhere.  Their role is to not provide just physically but emotionally.  They visit, call on phones, emails, check in without concern they are a nuisance.  You have let them into your inner circle.  They know how you are really doing.  Multiple Sclerosis often comes with a dose of loneliness and isolation that this group can help alleviate.

If you had sat down a month before your diagnosis and made a list of everyone that you knew would be there for you the odds are some of the people on your list have been a great support but other people that you thought would be there for you are nowhere to be seen.  Yet people that you would never expect or people you have just met are tremendous support.

Alan Wolfelt says that in times of need, people respond in one of three categories:1/3 are empathetic, 1/3 are neutral and 1/3 are harmful.  It’s OK to distance from the harmful people in your life but make sure you are engaging the empathetic.  If you do not have anyone empathetic, join a support group.  Everyone needs a place where you have permission to talk about MS.  Our tendency is to think: “They don’t want to hear about this MS stuff anymore.”

Building Your Core Support Group

Typically, avoiding the topic of MS is not a decision, it’s a response.  Yet the unspoken topic creates isolation at a time people with MS and caregivers need connectedness and unity.  Choose to eliminate the toxicity of not speaking about MS by finding ways to share its impact with a select group of friends and family.

You need to find a group of people which…

You do not need to put on a happy face.

When you ask how they are doing they do not say “fine.”

Do not stop talking when you walk in the room.

The way to develop a core support group is to open up a level of honesty about your struggles.  This will decrease your isolation and amazingly, by sharing more you will feel like a burden less because you are connected to the person.

Find ways to overcome your compassion fatigue by reaching out to others.  It’s not your loved ones fault they have ongoing needs and it’s not your fault that there’s times you are worn out from the care partner roll.  The best way to avoid compassion fatigue is to avoid isolation through connects with others.  Sometimes you need someone to talk about MS.  Sometimes you need a night away from anything having to do with MS.  No one knows your needs but you.

Who is in your life?

Place a name of someone you could say the following statements/questions to.  Try to have several different people.

“How are you handling my MS?” ___________________

“You seem moody.  Are you thinking a lot about your MS?” ___________________

“Let’s make the plans but please understand I might be too sick to go.”_______________

“Can you come over?  I don’t feel like being alone.” ____________________

“Instead of dropping off the meal, will you stay and eat with me?___________________

“Yesterday was a really bad day.”  ____________________

“Sometimes thisMS makes me angry/sad/frustrated/crazy.” __________________

“This MS seems to have changed the way you act around me.”________________

“I’m not sure this treatment is working.” _____________________

“If you will give God your right to yourself, He will make a Holy experiment out of you.  God’s experiments always succeed.”

When you have a child that’s attached to a blankie, it goes with you everywhere- just in case.  Heading out the door you grab your purse, your keys, the diaper bag and the blankie.  Going on a trip you take your tickets, your luggage, the snacks and the blankie. It fits into your life so completely you barely think about it until…it’s missing.

The removal of one simple blanket can take a peaceful trip to the grocery store and turn it into an ear splitting, baby screaming disaster.  Any calm, mild mannered parent becomes obsessed with one thing- FIND THE BLANKET!  Blankies are definitely one of those things you don’t really notice until they’re gone.

God has placed something like that in our lives too.  Instead of it being a baby blankie, God places a hedge around us.  The first chapter of Job tells us that God put a hedge around Job and his household and everything he has.  What’s the big deal about a hedge from God?  God’s hedge is not bushes and twigs.  It’s a giant wall of protection from Satan.

This may be hard to wrap your head around.  Why?  Because like a baby blanket, this hedge is most easily seen when it’s gone.  Have you ever moved into a dark time of your life when you felt tested?  Maybe it’s involved the loss of a job, an illness, a struggling marriage or maybe all three.  In that difficult place it’s easier to see that before the problems, life had not been so bad.  You catch yourself yearning for the times when your biggest problems were stretching a paycheck, being too tired to go out or wishing your kids would clean their room.

It’s one thing to see the goodies in life as blessings but maybe we need to see the small problems as blessings too.  Thank God for your times of simple problems and common stress.  It’s important to SEE God’s hand when life does not seem so hard.  Too often we wait until the hard times come and then we stop and try to understand what God is up to in our lives.  Our faith can be strengthened through the storms of life but there is much to be learned about who God is in the calm.  Believe me, if you take the time to see God in your seasons of protection it will be easier to see God in your seasons of trial.

Don’t wait until the calm is gone to notice the blanket of warmth God has placed around you.  Rejoice in the broken rear view mirror and the toilet that won’t stop running.   See God in the daily bumps in the road.  He’s there you know.  He’s always there.